Do you remember the television show, Different Strokes? It was one of my favorites when I was a kid. Arnold was the youngest son and he was so funny. His most famous line that he said quite often to his brother was, “What you talking about, Willis?” He usually said this in response to something that surprised him or that he didn’t like. I always loved that line!
Two years ago I said that line…to God. You see, God spoke to me and he told me that I needed to write and speak. God wanted me to write my story about fear and anxiety in my life. He wanted me to speak and tell others about how he has helped me overcome so much. My first natural response was:
What you talking about, God?
I hated writing. I always dreaded any class when the teacher would make us write papers. The writing I hated most was for research papers. Oh, how I really hated those. I had to go to the library and find books through the card catalog and then I had to actually read all these books and somehow come up with enough information to write about my research topic, all the while making sure I didn’t plaigarize. So much to remember and not fun to write! So, why in the world would God ask me to write when He knew I hated it?
What terrified me the most was the whole speaking part of His calling.
God, you know how I am 100% scared of getting in front of any size group of adults and talking about anything. Why do I have to talk about myself? You know I am afraid of sharing about myself in front of others. Please don’t make me do this!
However, God knew exactly what He was doing. God changed my heart so much that now I actually LOVE writing and speaking. I can’t wait for the chance to sit down at my computer and just type away. I am constantly searching and looking for things to write about. My brain is more alert and I see topics to write about in my daily life.
I used to be so fearful of getting up in front of adults to speak. My stomach would be in knots, my chest would break out in full redness, and I would talk super fast. Now…I am not so scared. I actually enjoy it. However, I still get a few butterflies in my stomach and my chest may still get a little red, and I know I still talk a little fast, but I’m not self-concious about them like I used to be. God has helped ease those fears by giving me opportunities for speaking over the past few years, mainly through leading Children’s Ministry workshops. The more I do it, the less afraid I am.
Has God called you to do something and you have questioned this calling? Maybe you laughed out loud like Sarah did when God told her she would have a baby at 90 years old. Maybe you gave God plenty of excuses like Moses did, especially when it comes to speaking. Maybe you are being completely defiant about God’s calling and you just run away from Him like Jonah did.
I get it. I did the same thing. I questioned God because I wasn’t sure He had the right person. What I learned from all this is that I had to let go of my plans and my fears and give them over to God. And I’m not just talking about giving it over just a little bit. I’m talking about full control. Give God complete access to every area of your life.
Because He knows so much more than you and I know and He will always be the best guide in our lives.
Perhaps you need a little help with this. Write down every excuse that you’ve been giving God about whatever it is He is calling you to do. Then pray over each one individually. One excuse per day. Remember, you’ve got to give these up. As you release these fears and excuses over to God, cross through it on your paper. That can be a way to help you to visually release these fears and trust God.
I will be praying that you won’t question God like I did and ask him, “What you talking about, God?” I pray that your first response be…
Here am I; send me! Isaiah 6:8